Browse the Library

Impartial Judge

Impartial Judge unless there are treats involved

Imagining World

In my dream, the angel shrugged & said, If we fail this time, it will be a failure of imagination & then she placed the world gently in the palm of my hand.

Imaginary Numbers

I have a friend who does numerology in California & she called me up one night & said that 444 was the number of Wal-Mart, which is 30 percent off of 666 & we were both amazed & then I hung up the phone & said now I remember why we moved to Iowa.

Illusion of Control

If you hold on to the handle, she said, it’s easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it’s more fun if you just let the wind carry you.

Idle Chatter

How’s it going? I said & she said it was all going perfectly, unless I’d heard differently.

Identical Twins

identical twins in the way they see the world as long as they don’t discuss who threw their vote away in the last election

Hundred Percent

I’m of the opinion that people don’t know what they’re talking about 90 percent of the time,
my grandpa said & my grandma smiled & said , O, you’re too late.
The 10 percent slot filled up a few minutes ago.
& we could hear him muttering all the way back out to the garden

Hot Market

hiding his light under a bushel because he’s been priced out of anything bigger by this market

Hot Dogs

My father used to carry a briefcase when he went to work every day before we left for school.
Now, he stays at home & cooks us hot dogs for breakfast.

Hot Dish

It’s not so bad if you don’t think of it as pizza, she said.
Just think of it as another one of Mom’s scary hot dishes.

Hot Comfort

I’m only comfortable when it’s hot, she said & I said what about winter?
& she said I argue a lot so it makes up for it

Hospitality Smile

not sure whether to smile too much because someone might put them on the hospitality committee

Hors d’oeuvres

I think my best self lives in my stomach, she said, & only comes out around the hors d’oeuvres at parties.
I think you can tell a lot about people from the hors d’oeuvres.
I nodded & hid my Vienna sausage in a big plant in the hall & avoided her for the rest of the evening.


I had a dream & I heard music & there were children standing around, but no one was dancing.
I asked a little girl, why not? & she said they didn’t know how, or maybe they used to but they forgot
& so I started to hop up & down & the children asked me, Is that dancing? & I laughed & said, no, that’s hopping, but at least it’s a start & soon everyone was hopping & laughing & it didn’t matter any more
that no one was dancing.

Hoping to Fall

Leaning out as far as she can,
hoping she’ll fall soon,
so she can stop worrying about
whether it will happen or not.

Hope Chest

I threw out my hope chest a while back
because it was too big to carry around with me all the time,
but I still kept all the blankets & clothes.
I just dress in more layers now
& I’m hoping to move to a cooler climate soon.

Home Improvement Therapy

Don’t let them fool you, she said.
It’s impossible to remodel without deep & painful personal growth
& they don’t let you put therapy under home improvement

Hole in his Heart

He has a hole where his heart used to be
because it fell out when he was running from scary things one night in a dream
& it hurts all the time now & he doesn’t know how to fix it
& sometimes I think he doesn’t even remember that it’s gone.


I’m just going to hide here in this paper bag until death comes, she said.
It could be a long time, I said. There was a pause & then her head popped out.
You think I should have a hobby while I wait? she said.

His Laughter

The first time his laughter
unfurled its wings in the wind,
we knew that the world
would never be the same.