What if we all got along & people loved each other & sang songs about peace? he said. Would that be a good world? & I said I didn’t know about that, but it would be a good summer camp & he looked at me & shook his head & said, It’s no wonder you’re leaving us with such a mess.
Hanging on Tight
Of course I hang on tight, she said. You can’t believe the kind of stuff that happens when you let go.
why aren’t people dogs? he said & I said because we can pick up newspapers with our hands & that made sense to him.
I heard that the big kids soaped the windows on Halloween & all we had was a box of Tide & I couldn’t reach the windows anyway, so I poured a big pile of it on the neighbor’s doorstep & I never figured out how my mom knew it was me until we had kids.
only half-naked in her dream that night because everybody else was completely naked & she just had to be different & when she woke up, she finally figured out why she spent most of her free time by herself.
You can have a plain hot dog if you want, he said, but until you’ve had a real polish sausage you’re only half alive. I decided there were worse things & I was only ten & could correct the serious mistakes later & the plain dog tasted just fine, even being half alive & all.
I think we would look fine without hair but it would take some getting used to. Everyone would be shiny & smooth & we would bounce off each other like billiard balls
We grow a lot faster than trees, he said, so we miss a lot of stuff.
When I grow up, he said, I want to be just like you, except for the hairs in your ears & nose. That’s too gross, he explained.
I was greedier when I was younger, he said to me, because I was stronger & could lift more.
It takes focus to be a great shopper, she told me. & practice & how could I argue with that?
What are the rules? I said & she said, Do exactly what I want whenever I want, make no demands of me whatsoever & love me forever, no questions asked & I said, how do you win? & she said, you don’t understand. I’m the only one who wins & then she laughed & clapped her hands. Isn’t it a great game? she said.
this is a special balancing trick that requires a small child to stay completely still
(so it’s still only theoretical)
I’ve known for a long time that the good stuff will kill you, he said. but everything else just puts me to sleep
I tell stories for very good reasons, she said, but I’m not going to tell you what they are or you’d start reading too much into them
I’m a good jumper, he said, but I’m not so good at landing. Maybe you should stay closer to the ground then, I said & he shook his head & said the ground was the whole problem in the first place.
I’m too lazy to get enlightened, he told me once & I like restaurants too much. What does that have to do with anything? I said. I’m not sure, he said, but any excuse is good when there’s change involved.
The first time I played golf, I had the most fun throwing bread to the goldfish in the pro shop. It made as much sense as anything else.
really just wanting to learn a few fun dance steps, but try telling that to all those panic-stricken Japanese
I do much better as a goddess, she said, since my secretarial skills have always been limited