this is an American unicorn which explains why it has 2 horns & they’re painted to match the tile in its bathroom
sort of spiritual with a real fondness for fast cars, so, of course, he reincarnated as an American
Almost New Age
Is willing to accept that she creates her own reality except for some of the parts where she can’t help but wonder what the hell she was thinking
She laid on my chest & her breathing filled me almost to beyond what I could hold.
Frankenstein bringing another pile of fruit salad to the potluck because he’s all thumbs in the kitchen.
someone asked them to be quiet, so it’s just a matter of time before all hell breaks loose
I’m old enough to wear red boots any time I want, she said. She wanted to be buried in them, but her son had them put her in taupe pumps instead. She wore red all winter long so the ambulance could find her quicker if she fell in a snow bank & also it hides dirt. She had married early & had always been a pragmatist.
We always thought she was riding backwards until the day she pointed out that the horse didn’t really have any idea which way he was going either. (Going forward sometimes takes a long time going back, she said.) (Piles of stuff she hasn’t looked at since college)
I need you to come home soon, she said. I’m walking around like a woman who’s let herself go.
He wouldn’t eat lobster the first time. He said it looked too dangerous & he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t watching from the astral plane or wherever lobsters went when they tired of being food items.
Death take me now & spare me the pain, she said. It was difficult for me to get that excited. Get a grip, I said, it’s only aerobics.
If they’d listen to me this world’d be a better place, my grandpa used to say & my grandma always nodded & said, you’re right. Someday we’re going to kick ourselves for that one & he’d frown & turn off his hearing aid.
Adventure of a Lifetime
off on another adventure of a lifetime & hoping he won’t forget halfway through this time
I’m fastest, he said, when I’m the one that gets to say go.
important to look knowledgable, but not important enough to actually know anything, so he’ll probably do fine as an actor
I’m an animal lover in the abstract, he said. What does that mean? I said. It means I try not to think about them a whole lot, because pet hair makes me queasy.
A to Z
1st Story (on all versions): My mother always told me to finish what I started, but she had no idea of some of the people I’d be dealing with.
2nd Story (only on sculpture with block) called Obvious Mistake: Some of the stuff I learned early on was useful, she told me, but most of it was obviously meant for someone who was not me.
There are 2 things I remember best, she said. Beauty & all the times people insulted me, so getting older has been kind of a roller-coaster ride