Personal Growth
Personal Business
There was a whole world here once, she said, but some of the smaller parts left on personal business & it’s not that easy to find replacements.
Pesky Growth
I finally got to exactly where I wanted to be,
she said, so why won’t all these growth experiences
go away & leave me alone?
Perpetual Change
I’ve never been that good at complaining, she told me, because I’m going to be dead in another 50 years & it’s all going to change then anyway.
Perfect Time
When I grow up, I want to remember that I always wanted to be about a thousand different things & one lifetime didn’t seem nearly enough. When I grow up, I hope it’s at the very end when it doesn’t matter anymore anyway
Pep Talk
I like change, she said, as long as I remember I like change.
Perfect Match
Sometimes you just need the right accessory, she said & I said I know, sometimes it takes me an hour to pick the right head & she just ignored me.
Partial Enlightenment
The problem with knowing everything’s going exactly as it needs to is that when you’re not having that much fun it doesn’t even do any good to complain.
Partial Virtue
She went everywhere with a basket filled daily with a fresh blueberry muffin. It’s either that or cigarettes, she said. I am only strong enough for a life of partial virtue.
Overexcitement
You have to be blase about something, she said, or you’ll die from overexcitement.
Outsider
I’m an outsider by choice, she said, but I’m hoping that won’t be my choice forever.
Over Time
she reached over time to pick the flower since she wasn’t going to be near there again for a long while
Open Heart
He told me one time he forgot himself & his heart opened up like a door with a loose latch & he tried for days to put it all back in proper order but finally he gave up & left it all jumbled up there in a pile & loved everything equally.
Open to the Sky
The top of his head was open up to the sky & when he walked down the street he’d end up with strange things in there like the number of dogs in China, or the time it takes to cook a pig. It’s not really useful, he said, but I’d miss this stuff if it ever closed up.
Old Cat
Sometimes I think I’m going to end up all alone in a cold apartment living on cat food from a can but I guess that’s not so bad since I’m a cat after all.
Nothing More
Often, I write all day long with white ink on white paper, late into the night, until it is all I can do to feel the letters curving to earth from the tip of the pen & then, I fall asleep. Dreaming of running, or maybe driving in a car the color of water & I wake the next day remembering nothing & I gather the stack of paper & a pen of black on the desk in front of me & the words begin to dance over the page like long legged insects across a still lake & the words in white whisper behind & underneath the new day. If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. & there is nothing more to it than that.
Novel Intentions
I’m going to start a novel soon, she said, but not now. I’m too tired to hear myself write, she added
Obvious Mistake
Some of the stuff I learned early on was useful, she told me, but most of it was obviously meant for someone who was not me.
Oddity
I don’t read the paper & I don’t watch tv & people ask me how I stay up with what’s going on & I tell them breathing seems to help & since I haven’t done serious damage to anyone yet, they usually leave me alone.
No Regret
I sometimes wake in the early morning
& listen to the soft breathing
of my children & I think to myself,
this is one thing I will never regret
& I carry that quiet with me all day long.
No Rush
this is the center of the universe at this moment
unless you’re looking in another direction,
or are thinking about something from a long time ago,
in which case it will wait quietly right here until you return