Condolence & Loss
Missing Piece (M)
Wanting him to come back before anyone notices a part of the world has not moved since he left
More Fair
They left me with your shadow,
saying things like Life is not fair
& I believed them for a long time.
But today, I remembered the way
you laughed & the heat of your hand
in mine & I knew that life is more
fair than we can ever imagine if
we are there to live it
Listening Well (for Erik) (masc)
He had the gift of stopping time
& listening well
so that it was easy
to hear who we could become
& that was the future
he held safe
for each of us
in his great heart
you may ask, what now?
& I hope you understand
when we speak softly
among ourselves
& do not answer
just yet
for our future
is no longer the same
without him
Living Memory
I carry you with me into the world,
into the smell of rain
& the words that dance between people
& for me, it will always be this way,
walking in the light,
remembering being alive together
Landscape of the Heart (Feminine)
It is still so new & all we see is the empty space, but that is not how it is in the landscape of the heart. There, there is no empty space & she still laughs & grapples with ideas & plans & nods wisely with each of us in turn. We are proud to have known her. We are proud to have called her friend.
Landscape of the Heart (Masculine)
It is still so new & all we see is the empty space, but that is not how it is in the landscape of the heart. There, there is no empty space & he still laughs & grapples with ideas & plans & nods wisely with each of us in turn. We are proud to have known him. We are proud to have called him friend.
Hidden Ocean
She held her grief behind her eyes like an ocean & when she leaned forward into the day it spilled onto the floor & she wiped at it quickly with her foot & pretended no one had seen.
Hard to Forget
I was waiting for such a long time, she said. I thought you forgot. It’s hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone.
Generations
It came on her without thinking that she was the exact age as her mother was & no matter what, it would have been hard to leave & suddenly all the generations gathered around her in that small kitchen & held her close & they would have blocked the light if they had not come filled with their memories of love.
Empty Spaces
After his father died he carried his life more gently & left an empty space for the birds & other creatures.
Disappearing
The day he first told me he was starting to disappear I didn’t believe him & so he stopped & held his hand up to the sun & it was like thin paper in the light & finally I said you seem very calm for a man who is disappearing & he said it was a relief after all those years of trying to keep the pieces of his life in one place. Later on, I went to see him again & as I was leaving, he put a package in my hand. This is the last piece of my life, he said, take good care of it & then he smiled & was gone & the room filled with the sound of the wind & when I opened the package there was nothing there & I thought there must be some mistake or maybe I dropped it & I got down on my hands & knees & looked until the light began to fade & then slowly I felt the pieces of my life fall away gently & suddenly I understood what he meant & I lay there for a long time crying & laughing at the same time.
Deep Roots
When I die, she said, I’m coming back as a tree with deep roots & I’ll wave my leaves at the children every morning on their way to school & whisper tree songs at night in their dreams. Trees with deep roots know about the things children need.
Butterflies
He told me that the night his mother died, there were storms & far away there was purple lightning & someone left the window open & the room filled with a swirl of butterflies & she slipped out quietly without anyone noticing & I’m sure the grief was softer because of that.
Ancient Songs
That was the day the ancient songs of blood & war spilled from a hole in the sky & there was a long moment as we listened & fell silent in our grief & then one by one, we stood tall & came together & began to sing of life & love & all that is good & true & I will never forget that day when the ancient songs died because there was no one in the world to sing them.
Awakening
In those days, we finally chose to walk like giants
& hold the world in arms grown strong with love
& there may be many things we forget in the days
to come, but this will not be one of them.