4 things I have learned about soccer that you may find useful. No. 1 If you run too much your lungs burn to tiny little cinders & all you’re good for after that is a low-key desk job for the rest of your life. No. 2 A soccer ball is softer than a rock, but not much. No. 3 If you have a good goalie, you can look around more & see what some of the other teams are up to. No. 4 People on the sidelines yell at you because they know exactly what they would do if they had the ball & were 3 feet taller than the biggest kid on the other team.