Humor & Whimsy
Discovered the Moon
When I first discovered the moon, he said, I gave it a different name. But everyone kept calling it the moon. The real name never caught on.
Discretion
I think if I was a woman, he told me, I’d have sex a lot more than all the women I know & I’d definitely stay away from people like me & my friends
Distinguished
You’re lucky, she said. You’ll only get more distinguished as you get older.
Down Time
I can read minds, she said & I said, OK & she said, Do you want to know what you’re thinking? I said no thank you. I don’t do stuff like that on weekends.
Delayed Gratification
the real problem with details is there’s so many of them
Delegating Anxiety
good at delegating anxiety so nobody sleeps all that well around here
Design Flaw
One of those rare bumblebees who agreed with the engineers about not being able to fly
so he mainly sits around & watches the other bees work themselves to death.
Destiny
Destiny? There’s only your time & then there’s not-your-time, he said. All the rest is made up to keep you busy.
Detach with Love
has detached with love so many times that her hair has started to fall out in clumps
Different Place
Thinks about moving to someplace else where everything is different enough to be fun again.
Disclosure
It’s hard to believe anything I say, she told me, because I was there & I have a vested interest in being right.
Day Break
liking each other because it’s a beautiful day & it seems like a waste of time to disagree about stuff the other one is refusing to change out of sheer stubbornness
Day Job
This holds all the stuff you haven’t been listening to & when the top comes off, it all starts to talk at once & it makes you glad you have a day job so you can get away for part of the time.
Decisions
This is a bag filled with dreams & recipes for soup & he’s deciding right now which he’s really hungry for.
Deepest Desires
Wish for your deepest desires, she said & when I asked if they’d come true, she said they always do, so you might as well get them out in the open while you’re still young enough to correct any serious mistakes.
Deepest Secrets
O no, she said, you can’t say just anything to the wind. Only the deepest secrets will do & also you must not use the letter i.
Crowd
She always camouflaged herself as a crowd. I’ve never been lonely, she said, but sometimes it’s hard to think above the noise.
Cultivating Vice
I leave it to other people to change, she told me. I spend my time just cultivating vices.
Cultural Fable
Once upon a time there was a pig who spoke eight languages & did sculpture with pieces of wood & rusted metal he found on his travels. One day he was out in the woods working on a new installation piece & he met a family from a small town in Tennessee. They had been walking for days. The dad saw the pig & said what are you doing, little piggie? They were all quite surprised when the pig said working with counterbalanced forces using found objects. They all stood around & looked at the piece for a long time. No one said anything. Finally, the dad shrugged & turned to the mom & said I don’t know much about art but I know what I like & then they killed the pig & ate him.
Curiosity
Can I count on you to be there, no matter what? she said & I said no & she said what kind of friend are you? & I said the kind who won’t lie to you any time you want & I think she kept me around as a curiosity after that