Humor & Whimsy
Brown Thumb
When they met the first time, he said he had a brown thumb
because all his plants kept dying & she laughed &
would not give him her number.
Blank Future
this is a picture of the future & you’ll notice that there’s a lot of blank space
because people haven’t made up their minds about it & the future doesn’t have
a lot of time for that kind of indecisiveness
Blank Map
This is a blank map that lets you go as far as you want in any direction,
with no questions asked, but it’s no help at all if you want to know
if you’re going the right way.
Blind Spot
I’d like to think that things are getting better, he said, but my eyes are getting worse, so maybe I miss a lot.
Blue American
forgot to pick a future he’d like, so now he’s practicing for the one he’s got
Body Map
I have seen the map of her body a thousand times &
there are still places there I will never stop to understand.
Body Shop
She tried on every body left but they’d been pretty well picked over & all that were left were a little worse for wear. She finally settled on one that was pretty good except for a scuff at the elbow where you almost couldn’t see it anyway & as she walked out into the world she remembered thinking next time I’m going to get here earlier.
Body Stuff
This is a box filled with things that make your body tingle & she’s saving it
for some time when she’s in a long-term relationship & can make better use of it.
Birth Right
If God had meant for me to bend like that, she said, I would’ve been born in India.
Birthdays (fem)
When people asked how old she was, she would say 1009365, more or less, because she was so glad to be alive that she counted every day a birthday. She had some disagreement from her knees about the actual figures though…
Bitter End
I’m sick & tired of all these judgmental people, she said, & I hope they burn in hell for it.
Bird Puppet
this is a talking bird puppet & it usually has a lot to say after she’s been on another bad date
Big Purse
I never trusted her for a minute, she said. Her purse was way too big.
Big Strange Family
I don’t think of it as working for world peace, he said. I think of it as just trying to get along in a really big strange family.
Big Strange Family (feminine)
I don’t think of it as working for world peace, she said. I think of it as just trying to get along in a really big strange family.
Big Stuff
I only worry about the big stuff now, she said. The little stuff gives me a headache because of the bifocals.
Bigger Challenge
He tapped his fingers on the table. The way I see it, he said, I either need to find a bigger challenge or I need to start drinking decaf.
Big Breakfast
The only thing that keeps me together some days is an unwavering belief in balance, he said. I try to eat a big breakfast, too.
Big Hair
This is a bag filled with big hair & even though it doesn’t weigh much, you have to be careful how you handle it because it’s toxic.
Big Plans
Your job is to focus on my personal happiness, she said, & I’ve got big plans, so break time is over.