Humor & Whimsy
Secret Admirer
I probably won’t admit it in person, but I think you’re pretty great.
Core Team
Don’t take your family for granted, because people who love you even after they know you don’t come along every day.
Bad Monsters
Trying to pass themselves off as monsters, but the smile in their eyes keeps giving it away.
Other Worlds
We are not so far away from the world of giants and secrets and magic.
Closet Optimist
This isn’t a popular opinion, but secretly I think things are going to work out.
Birthdays (masc)
When people asked how old he was, he would say 1009365, more or less, because he was so glad to be alive that he counted every day a birthday. He had some disagreement from his knees about the actual figures though.
Natural Bond
Maybe it doesn’t
have to be
so serious.
Maybe we don’t
have to make a big deal
out of spending
the rest of our lives
together.
Revolutionaries
It’s no mistake we have imagination and a pair of hands. We were born to cause trouble.
Young Tomatoes
My grandma used to plant tomato seedlings in tin cans from tomato sauce & puree & crushed tomatoes she got from the Italian restaurant by her house, but she always soaked the labels off first.
I don’t want them to be anxious about the future, she said. It’s not healthy.
Yellow Bathrobe
I finally settled on Buddhism, she said, but it’s more than just a fashion statement. I’ve always done some of my best work in my bathrobe.
Winning Ticket
He won the grand prize of a vacuum cleaner & all the canned goods he could carry & when they told him he couldn’t believe it. I thought I was buying drink tickets, he said.
Value
Life must be cheaper here, she said & I said I don’t think life is cheap anywhere, but there are some places people haven’t added it up yet because they’re too busy making stuff for America.
Voice of Reason
Sometimes I think I should just keep my opinions to myself, she said, but someone has got to be the voice of reason.
Underwear Parade
I think we should make all the flags in the parade out of long underwear, he said, because then only the really fun people will come.
Unconditional Love
I try to use unconditional love in small amounts, she said, so people really appreciate it. The rest of the time I just try not to yell.
Two Wise Men
My great-aunt Clara told us once about the time she was one of the wise men in the church play & when it came to her part she said we’re here bearing frankincense, gold & myrrh, heavy on the frankincense because of that camel smell & after that her father always called it the story of the Two Wise Men & that other guy & we laughed so hard we had to pee.
Trojan Horse
this was supposed to be just like the Trojan Horse except all they had was enough wood for the legs & an old wool blanket & the funny thing is it still worked because everyone came out & pointed at it & laughed themselves sick
True American
The next time the demons come, he said, just wave your penis at them. I can’t do that, I said. Why not? he said. Well, I said finally, because I’m American.
Too Many Words
Does Santa get to do as much PlayStation as he wants? he said & I said nobody gets to do as much of anything as they want, or the economy would grind to a halt & he looked at me & said, That was a simple yes or no question, Dad.
Toothpick Fence
He built fences of whole boxes of toothpicks because he didn’t have enough money for redwood. I know it’s small, he said, but I don’t want everybody just thinking they can walk right in & some day, it’ll be bigger. Fences take practice for everyone.