Humor & Whimsy
Stress Reduction
I have so much less stress, he said, now that I’ve given up on ambition.
Strange Country
She asked my sons what strange countries they had been to & my oldest son said England & my youngest said we live in Iowa & they all agreed that was strangest of all.
(Note: The name of the state can be changed if you think yours is more strange than Iowa…)
Straight Forward
Start here & go until you die, he said. What’s so complicated about that?
Start Up
How do you start a religion? he said.
I think you have faith & then you wait for a miracle, I said. At least that’s how it’s been done before.
He nodded. OK, he said, so it’s a lot like e-commerce.
Status
I don’t wear stuff to impress people, she said. I can’t afford it yet.
Spontaneous Makeup
I’m at my best when I’m 15 minutes late, she said. Even my makeup looks more spontaneous.
Standards
Won’t drink a cheap red no matter how much they threaten him.
Spell Check
Does this spell anything? he said. I shook my head.
Maybe you should look again, he said, in case you missed something the first time.
Sleeping Man
What I’m mostly good at is sleeping, he once told me in confidence, but he added, I don’t see much future in it.
Sloth
I’m waiting for sloth to come back in style, he said.
You may wait a long time, I said.
That’s OK, he said, I can use the practice.
Slapping Sharks
What’s that thing? I said. O, that’s an oar, he said, in case we hit a calm stretch & we decide we need more excitement & also it’s good for slapping sharks.
Sing Along
Ever since I found out I was schizophrenic, he said, I’ve been making up songs that are easy to harmonize with. I really like a good sing-a-long.
Six Minutes
Time to come out, I told him & he said he’d only been in for 6 minutes & I said that’s not true. You’ve been in the whole day & he shrugged & said all he could remember was the last 6 minutes.
Simple Rules
I learned 2 things early on, my sister said. The first is don’t blame people for being the way they are. What’s the second? I said. She smiled. If they’re really stupid she said, go ahead & blame them. It’s a really simple philosophy, she added.
Short Nose
When I was young, my grandma always used to say it was good I didn’t get my dad’s nose & I thought so, too, but I always wondered if someone somewhere was walking around without a nose because of me.
Side Effect
I don’t really get jet lag, she said. I just see my husband’s failings more clearly.
Sideways Ladder
This is a sideways ladder because she likes to feel she’s making progress, but she’s afraid of heights.
Sightseeing
You’re not going to see people like this again for a long time, he said & I said I always saw people like this & he looked at me for a moment & said, You’re not from around here, are you?
Silly in Public
I figured out that if I keep it up, someday I’ll probably get wise enough to be silly in public but I probably won’t wait that long.
Secret Potion
this is a secret potion that makes you see the world differently & she’s found it safest to use only on the weekends