Humor & Whimsy
Secret Warning
He ran quickly with a sound like raindrops & left his handwriting in all the secret places. I found this one underneath the big yellow rock in the garden. It said this: watch out for the little black dog. It can smell when you’ve had hot dogs.
Self-Conscious
He is self-conscious because everyone knows he has wings but they’ve never seen him fly. Now & then there will be a feather in odd places or maybe a footprint to show he was there. All in all, he thinks it’s nobody else’s business what he does with his free time.
Selves to Agree
I think my life would be easier, she said, if I could just get my selves to agree on something.
Scale
this is much bigger than it looks but I’m not too good at drawing to scale
Roughage
I used to eat popcorn for every meal, she told me once. It made me feel like I was in the movies & my life would turn out happy in the end. Did it work? I said. I don’t know, she said, but I like to think the roughage counts for something.
Right Accessory
Sometimes you just need the right accessory, she said & I said I know, sometimes it takes me an hour to pick the right head & she just ignored me.
Respect for Danger
If this ever gets off the ground, he said, it’ll probably be really dangerous & maybe I’ll finally get the respect I deserve
Realist
I don’t wear stuff to impress people, she said. I can’t afford it yet.
Really Good
I don’t have a whole lot of excuses for what’s gone wrong with my life, she said. But the ones I do have are really good.
Raising the Bar
I need to move someplace where Cheez Whiz isn’t a major food group, she said.
Put Together
don’t be fooled by appearances he was all put together when I sent him out 10 minutes ago
Queen of the Universe
I used to hate birthdays, she told me, until I figured out I was the Queen of the Universe & now I do them for the little people.
Quick Service
He said being invisible wasn’t so bad except when you’re trying to get quick service.
Psychology
Of course I’m not happy, she said to me, but I’ve got a degree in psychology so at least I can explain why.
Public Face
I like to sit quietly in public places, she said, to make up for being so obnoxious in private.
Public Radio
He only gets vicious when he watches too much tv, so we keep public radio on most of the time instead so mainly all we have to worry about is him going around to all the neighbors asking for money.
Proper Steps (masc)
I only do this until I get dizzy & then I lay down on my back & watch the clouds, he said. It sounds simple but you won’t believe how many people forget the second part.
Protection
We’re recommending SPF 1000 which is actually layers & layers of bulky clothing because we never want to have to see this again.
Psychic Energy
For a long time, he was trying to pop these balloons with psychic energy but he found a dart was simpler. I save my psychic energy for more important things, he told me, like trying to predict the future. I told him a dart is good for that too & now he never calls anymore.
Promises
I only promise the little things. The big things don’t pay attention to what I want anyhow.