Humor & Whimsy
Psychic Energy
For a long time, he was trying to pop these balloons with psychic energy but he found a dart was simpler. I save my psychic energy for more important things, he told me, like trying to predict the future. I told him a dart is good for that too & now he never calls anymore.
Principles
There are times I think I’m doing things on principle, but mostly I just do what feels good. But that’s a principle, too.
Priorities
I’ve never been good about watching my back because I’m too worried about walking into something & breaking my nose again.
Pro Choice
I’ve been feeling like the time is coming when I’m going to have to balance the scales, she told me, & now I wish I’d waited on the whole cook’s kitchen thing.
Process
It’s an invention, he said. What’s it do? I said. I don’t know, he said. It’s not finished yet.
Presence of Mind
Most of the stuff I say is true because I saw it in a dream & I don’t have the presence of mind to make up lies when I’m asleep.
Present Tense
I think they’re going to be great grown-ups, she said, because they’re really awful children.
Pretend Visitor
We stood out on the porch before we went inside & she told me her secret. Pretend you’re just visiting, she said. That way you’ll forget that they’re family.
Preparation
I try not to think too much, he said, so my mind is ready for whatever comes up.
Practical Advice
doesn’t usually advise eating chocolate for breakfast unless you’re absolutely convinced that’s the kind of advice you need
Pragmatic
He wanted to be big so he could do all the fun stuff but small was better when it came to getting out of work.
Preacher & the Demons
The preacher dunked her head 3 times in the basin & called out for the demons to leave & then she spit water in his face. So he extemporaneously added a fourth & by the time she came up for air the demons were considerably more restrained.
Post-It
Has found the real problem with Post-it Notes is that they don’t stick in your head.
Pot on His Head
He wore a pot on his head in all kinds of weather.
I never learned to cook & I got it after my mother
died, he said. I just know it would make her happy that I’m using it.
Potato Archangel
This is how the Archangel Michael shows up to potato people & you’ll notice he’s the same in every way, except he’s a little rounder & he carries a flaming potato peeler
Potential Energy
My life had such potential, she told me, before I found out how much work was involved.
Power Suit
I have a really great power suit she said, but I never wear it because no one talks to me on those days.
Pointless Lies
He said he was followed around by a cloud of electrons that knew what he was thinking. I’ve given up lying, he said & then he pointed over his shoulder. What’s the point? They just go & tell everybody the truth anyway. It sounds worse than it is, he said. Once you forget how to do it, you think up better things to do with your time.
Porcupine
A few said they’d be horses. Most said they’d be some sort of cat.
My friend said she’d like to come back as a porcupine.
I don’t like crowds, she said.
Positive Affirmation
Remember to use positive affirmations.
I am not a dork is not one of them.