Humor & Whimsy
Peace Cactus
this is a cactus that thinks there’s enough violence in the world already so it’s taking correspondence courses in being a cabbage
Peace Dance
This is a modern dance with real animals. It’s supposed to symbolize peaceful co-existence, but it’s usually pretty loud & the dancers have to watch where they step all the time. I heard someone say they didn’t know peace was so smelly.
Penance
I know I don’t go to church as often as I should, she said, but I still wear pantyhose & that should count for something.
Partial Virtue
She went everywhere with a basket filled daily with a fresh blueberry muffin. It’s either that or cigarettes, she said. I am only strong enough for a life of partial virtue.
Overexcitement
You have to be blase about something, she said, or you’ll die from overexcitement.
Pain Free
doesn’t mind being altruistic if he doesn’t have to suffer to do it
Paradise
I could never live in Paradise, she said. I don’t look that good naked.
Partial Enlightenment
The problem with knowing everything’s going exactly as it needs to is that when you’re not having that much fun it doesn’t even do any good to complain.
Outsider
I’m an outsider by choice, she said, but I’m hoping that won’t be my choice forever.
Open to the Sky
The top of his head was open up to the sky & when he walked down the street he’d end up with strange things in there like the number of dogs in China, or the time it takes to cook a pig. It’s not really useful, he said, but I’d miss this stuff if it ever closed up.
Opera Man
My uncle told me once there were 3 rules for a great opera. Make it loud, wear flashy clothes & if it’s not going your way, kill yourself. It has no basis in reality, he added. That’s why I like it.
One A Day
They don’t have very long memories, so every morning seems like a miracle.
One Piece Body
likes her body a lot, especially the way she can fling it all around in all sorts of directions & it still stays connected in one piece
Old Ways
Except for the running naked through the forest, there’s not a lot I miss.
On the Lookout
The two of them went riding off into the Future one day when they ran into a group of old people out looking for roots & when they stopped to see if they could help, all the old people laughed & said they had more experience. One woman said the Future wasn’t even there except for the bad parts, because the Future’s always worse than before & then the old people left, walking slowly, shouting at each other about the weather. The two of them looked at each other for a minute & then they said, let’s go off to the Future again & before they left they made a rule to keep on the lookout for old people.
Nothing to Say
He really doesn’t have that much to say, she told me, so don’t get him started.
Obvious Mistake
Some of the stuff I learned early on was useful, she told me, but most of it was obviously meant for someone who was not me.
Norm
Are you here to borrow money or to visit? He used to say
& I’d say it’s me, grandpa & then he’d say o hell,
come on in & visit anyway.
No Idea
I’ve had some of my best conversations with strangers, she said,
because they have no idea who they’re dealing with.
No Incentive
There’s no incentive to tell the truth
when you’re already in this deep, he said.
I’m just hoping to die peacefully in my sleep.