Humor & Whimsy
Night Sailor
Sails about all night. It explains why I look like hell in the morning, she said.
Mystery of the Universe
I had a teacher once who said the greatest mystery of the universe was her husband & after that I could never understand why we wasted so much time on things like the cure for cancer or putting a man on the moon when we could just have all those scientists working on him.
National Geographic Hat
He said the hat kept his soul from drifting off
& I asked if he knew this from experience
& he laughed & said all his best bits
were from National Geographic.
New Mirror
I need someone to invent a mirror that leaves out some of the details, she said.
More Than a Princess
Are you a princess? I said
& she said I’m much more
than a princess,
but you don’t have a name
for it yet here on earth.
Moving Day
I think you love people until you get to understand them,
she said & I said, what happens then?
& she said, o, that’s when you move away.
Missing Link II
I thought, I’ll remove my head for a while & it went fine except most people didn’t know where to look when we were having a conversation.
Monster in a Box
This is a monster in a box
& all it eats is sugar
& raw hamburger
so you can understand
how it got to be so fierce.
Moonlight
I like this place best by moonlight, she told me. During the day, it just looks like dirt.
Mirror Image
My sister read somewhere once
that if you look into your own eyes
long enough in a mirror
you change into the Devil
& it took her almost thirty years,
but she finally did it.
Menu Planning
cans of beans & other small things you throw in jello when you’ve lost the will to go on
Magic Survivors
In a recovery group for people who’ve been sawed in 2 pieces at a magic show
Magical Thinker (aka Disappearing Act)
Can make stuff
magically disappear
especially if
it’s got a lot
of butter & sugar
in it
Lizard Brain
I have to apologize beforehand for anything that happens, he told her.
I haven’t been dating that long
& my lizard brain still acts up sometimes.
Long Neck
I have been blessed with a long neck so my chin never bumps into my shoulders when I’m making a lane change on the freeway.
Lost In the Translation
There are some days
when no matter what I say
it feels like I’m far away in another country
& whoever is doing the translating
has had far too much to drink.
Little House
This used to be a mean monster until he got sick one winter with the flu & stayed in bed & watched too much Little House on the Prairie & now the littlest thing & he starts to cry.
Living in the Past
I’ve always liked living in the past best, she said.
It takes less money than I make now.
Like-Minded Souls
I’m a Catholic, she said, so I know about suffering.
I’m a homeowner, I said.
She nodded. So, you understand, she said.
Laughter & Digestion
There are only 2 things I take seriously, my aunt said once. Laughter & my digestion. I’m too old to bother with more than that.