Humor & Whimsy
Laughter & Noise
There are lives I can imagine without children but none of them have the same laughter & noise.
Known Future
THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THE FUTURE
It doesn’t have to look any particular way, but around here, if it doesn’t, a lot of people will never speak to you again.
Labor Force
Do you make all this stuff up on your own? she said & I said I had a lot of people working for me day & night & most of them didn’t know it & I’m sure she was impressed until she figured out what I meant later on.
Last Wish
I don’t care what you do when I’m gone, he told us. Just don’t bury me where the dog can find me.
Jello Salad
There are 7 levels of hell, she said, & I think one of them is reserved for people who bring jello salads to every potluck they go to.
Just Desserts
I only hate people that deserve it, she said. How do you know? I said. Trust me, she said. I know.
Kindred Spirits
You’re the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we’d know each other a long time.
Know Too Much
I have to hate you, she said. You know too much about me to be trusted.
Invitation to a Future
this is an invitation to an amazing future & I can guarantee it because most futures are & even if they aren’t there are better things to do than blaming me about it
Inexact Model
This is a model of the solar system with all the planets there are & a few that haven’t been discovered yet (so they may not look exactly like this).
Hundred Percent
I’m of the opinion that people don’t know what they’re talking about 90 percent of the time,
my grandpa said & my grandma smiled & said , O, you’re too late.
The 10 percent slot filled up a few minutes ago.
& we could hear him muttering all the way back out to the garden
Identical Twins
identical twins in the way they see the world as long as they don’t discuss who threw their vote away in the last election
Idle Chatter
How’s it going? I said & she said it was all going perfectly, unless I’d heard differently.
Imaginary Numbers
I have a friend who does numerology in California & she called me up one night & said that 444 was the number of Wal-Mart, which is 30 percent off of 666 & we were both amazed & then I hung up the phone & said now I remember why we moved to Iowa.
Impartial Judge
Impartial Judge unless there are treats involved
Hospitality Smile
not sure whether to smile too much because someone might put them on the hospitality committee
Higher Math
We looked at the numbers on the blackboard
& after awhile I finally asked if they made sense to him
& he said no, I think they’re just there to keep the riffraff out.
Hobby
I’m just going to hide here in this paper bag until death comes, she said.
It could be a long time, I said. There was a pause & then her head popped out.
You think I should have a hobby while I wait? she said.
High Standards
I’ve got pretty high standards for someone who doesn’t have any use for them yet.
High Tolerance
What are you good at? I said
& she said, Mainly life.
I work best with stuff
that has a high tolerance
for mistakes.