Humor & Whimsy
Hawaiian Shirts
I have seen him in Hawaiian shirts, she said, so there is nothing hidden between us
Hard Choice
I don’t really like coffee, she said, but I don’t really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.
Hair Roles
I think we would look fine without hair but it would take some getting used to. Everyone would be shiny & smooth & we would bounce off each other like billiard balls
Future Lives
Anybody can make up past lives, she said. The real trick is to make up future lives & not forget you did it.
Garage Sale
After she had that last big garage sale she floated off into the sky & I heard her say there was nothing keeping her here anymore & I was much more cautious about the stuff I got rid of after that.
Free Country (aka Confusing World)
Why is the world so confusing? he said & I said it’s only confusing if you believe it has to make sense & he looked at me & shook his head.
I can’t believe they let just anyone have children, he said.
Force Feeding
I know I can cook well enough to survive, he said, but I’m grown up now so you can’t force me to eat it
Flight
I knew a man in college who grew up in the inner city of Chicago & what he was doing in Iowa I never did figure out. But whenever he would see a jet trailing across the sky, he would stop everything he was doing & he would watch. Once, after a jet was gone & there was nothing left but the white line disappearing like a scar into the blue, he turned to me & said, An airplane is a miracle & I didn’t give it much thought, but now & then, when I am ready to give up hope for human beings in general, & for one or two of them who are bugging me specifically, I will look to the sky & there will be one of those miracles & I will remember it’s all about concentrating on the right thing.
Fighting Chance
What do I get for this? I said & the angel gave me a catalog filled with toasters & clock radios & a basketball signed by Michael Jordan & I said, But this is just stuff & the angel smiled at me & swallowed me in her arms. I’m so glad you said that, she whispered to me. I knew you still had a chance.
Final Days
I’ll bet you wouldn’t even miss me if I died, she said. Depends on if you’d been grumpy in those final days, I said & she tried to look sad but I saw the smile anyway.
Fast Trot
holding the reins equally so neither of them breaks into more than a fast trot
Favorite Things
My favorite thing is the wind, she said, & my second favorite is chocolate but I just do that so I don’t get too skinny & blow away
Eye For Stuff
sees a lot of stuff other people miss
Fairy Princess
looking for a slinky black dress for later on which is how you can tell this is a fairy princess with an edge
Falling Into Place
deciding everything is falling into place perfectly as long as you don’t get too picky about what you mean by place. Or perfectly.
Family Resemblance
no family resemblance but the pictures don’t lie
Fashion Angel
these are multi-purpose wings & when she’s not flying they accessorize nicely with almost anything she wears
Fashion Beast
This pachyderm has a highly developed fashion sense for someone so far from the capitals of Europe, but it helps that she only dresses in natural fibers.
Fast Forward
Fast forwarding through her messages hoping to hear from old boyfriends who finally realize the treasure they’ve thrown away.
Fast Talker
I kept having dreams I was naked, he said. I think that’s why I learned to talk so fast.