Humor & Whimsy
Crowd
She always camouflaged herself as a crowd. I’ve never been lonely, she said, but sometimes it’s hard to think above the noise.
Cultivating Vice
I leave it to other people to change, she told me. I spend my time just cultivating vices.
Cultural Fable
Once upon a time there was a pig who spoke eight languages & did sculpture with pieces of wood & rusted metal he found on his travels. One day he was out in the woods working on a new installation piece & he met a family from a small town in Tennessee. They had been walking for days. The dad saw the pig & said what are you doing, little piggie? They were all quite surprised when the pig said working with counterbalanced forces using found objects. They all stood around & looked at the piece for a long time. No one said anything. Finally, the dad shrugged & turned to the mom & said I don’t know much about art but I know what I like & then they killed the pig & ate him.
Curiosity
Can I count on you to be there, no matter what? she said & I said no & she said what kind of friend are you? & I said the kind who won’t lie to you any time you want & I think she kept me around as a curiosity after that
Dancing Mailman
Our mailman was a dance teacher at night & I would watch him sometimes to see if he would deliver mail differently than the others. I expected to see him leap over bushes with his toes pointing like arrows, but all he ever did was walk.
Control Top
She said these legs have a mind of their own. Once they kicked a salesperson in Nordstrom’s & she felt so bad she bought almost $400 worth of stuff & waited almost a week to return it. She is thinking of sending them to obedience school. Their best trick is a judicious use of pantyhose. Legs hate that kind of stuff so all it takes is one time.
Costume Change
I was going to be the solar system, she said, but I kept getting caught in the trees & bushes.
Couch Explorer
When I was young I always wanted to go exploring in a cave and when I got older I finally did & it was dark everywhere & there were strange sounds like your stomach after a big meal & I couldn’t wait to get out. I figured out later that I mainly liked to go exploring caves in my mind where I could be comfortable & not get dirty & cold. If you read too much National Geographic when you’re young it’s hard to adjust to the real world.
Country Dance
One summer we visited my grandparents, I remember we went to a dance in the country. The band was loud & enthusiastic & there were so many people my glasses got steamed up. After a while, the band stopped for a drink & my ears were still ringing & I looked up & there were strings of white lights scattered like stars all over the ceiling & I wondered if it was this bright out in space where there were no people & then the band started playing another polka & the quiet slipped out to the front porch with all the other old guys.
Couple of Wrongs
I’m not sure if there’s one right place I’m supposed to be, he said, but I know a couple of wrong places I’d give a second try in a heartbeat.
Crapshoot
Whatever you do, she said, don’t wait too long or you’ll have to start from the very beginning & those new bodies are always kind of a crapshoot.
Crossing the Line
I have too much to lose, she said, if I cross that line. Like what? I said. She could not think of anything that day so she said she’d get back to me. Since then I’ve been thinking what I would lose if I cross my line & I haven’t come up with anything either. There’s always another line somewhere.
Complete Report
hard to see what’s happening inside
so she feels a need to give complete reports
whenever someone asks
Confusing World (aka Free Country)
Why is the world so confusing? he said
& I said it’s only confusing if you believe
it has to make sense & he looked at me &
shook his head. I can’t believe they let just
anyone have children, he said.
Connect the Dots
Resorting to connecting the dots this morning
because it was a long night & he needs to do
something really simple to get started again.
Conspiracy Theories
Big box filled with the best conspiracy theories of the ’90’s
Coming Soon
I know I promised I wouldn’t complain, she said,
but I’m not ready to start just yet.
Close To The Ground
I still fly a lot in my dreams, she told us,
but I try to stay close to the ground. At my age,
a fall can be pretty serious.
Closed Chapter
thinks of aerobics with the fondness of someone who has decided
it is a chapter now closed in her life
Clutter
It gets real cluttered in here
when everybody talks at once, she said