Humor & Whimsy
Caregiver
What happened to you? I said & she said she was nurturing the cat against its will
& that was the end of that conversation.
Careless Future
The future is a funny thing, she told me one day,
because we’re the only ones who care about it.
Casual Chic
Ready for just about anything in a casual chic sort of way.
Cat Lover
I’ve had cats since I was young, she said & I still love them.
See, I said, you don’t have to be smart to be happy.
Catfish (aka Fish Fry)
The first time I went to a fish fry there were all these rules for surviving a dinner of catfish like picking all the bones out & having soft white bread in case you did swallow a bone & chewing until each bite was soft enough to squirt through your teeth & someone said this was the way the pioneers used to eat & I thought no wonder they didn’t live so long back then.
Challenge
If we all jumped up & down at the same time, I said,
I’ll bet we could move the world. She nodded.
I’d throw in five bucks toward it, she said, just to see
the old man get his butt off the couch.
Buffer Zone
buffered from almost every shock,
unless the pole falls down
Bunch of Bones
You know why kids like skeletons? he said & I said I didn’t &
he said it was because it didn’t matter if you were good or bad, you
ended up a bunch of bones & he stopped for a second & then he added,
but you don’t have to worry, I’ll still be good.
Bunches of Eyes
this shark sees everything because it’s got bunches of eyes
but it has such a tiny brain that it can’t keep it all straight
Busy Life
Everyone sang Happy Birthday except Max who claimed he didn’t know the words.
I was busy that day, he said, & it really hasn’t let up since.
Butter & Sugar
I like butter & sugar & being alive a whole lot &
today I’m kind of sad because with all the latest studies
I figured out I’m going to have to choose.
Buttons
You don’t get to use buttons until you get to be pretty old, I heard him tell his brother,
but you’ll be slower then & it won’t be so much of a problem.
Cable TV
Some days it’s not worth the effort to pull myself together,
she said, so I’m glad I get cable
Calculated Risk
Are we your real children? they said & I said we had our pick of all the children in the world & we took a few home to try out & though we tried to return them later, it was more trouble than it was worth, so we kept them & loved them & taught them all the stuff they’d need to know when it came time for them to choose, so they wouldn’t make the same mistakes we did & later I heard one of them say they didn’t know about being a parent if it was as risky as all that.
Cannibal
I’d never make a good cannibal, she said. I have to watch my fat intake too closely.
Brown Thumb
When they met the first time, he said he had a brown thumb
because all his plants kept dying & she laughed &
would not give him her number.
Born Again
If I get born again, my son said, do they give me different parents?
& I said no & he shook his head & said they didn’t use their
brains on that one, did they?
Born for Retail
has always had the soul of an artist, but the instincts of an attack dog,
so of course he went into retail
Breakfast Perspective
you can bet that if oatmeal was bigger than us, he said,
we’d be breakfast cereal in a minute
Breakfast of Champions
Breakfast is not a competition, she said, but they were gone already &
both of them thought they’d won