Labor Force

Do you make all this stuff up on your own? she said & I said I had a lot of people working for me day & night & most of them didn’t know it & I’m sure she was impressed until she figured out what I meant later on.

Jacques Cousteau

I saw Jacques Cousteau at the grocery store in L.A. once & I watched to see what he would buy, but he only got corn chips & some shoelaces & I don’t know what I expected, but I would’ve settled for a can of chunk light tuna even.

Hundred Percent

I’m of the opinion that people don’t know what they’re talking about 90 percent of the time, my grandpa said & my grandma smiled & said , O, you’re too late. The 10 percent slot filled up a few minutes ago. & we could hear him muttering all the way back out to the garden

Imaginary Numbers

I have a friend who does numerology in California & she called me up one night & said that 444 was the number of Wal-Mart, which is 30 percent off of 666 & we were both amazed & then I hung up the phone & said now I remember why we moved to Iowa.

Hot Market

hiding his light under a bushel because he’s been priced out of anything bigger by this market