Tofu Pup
taunting the neighbor’s dog with meat-flavored tofu because he can’t get anyone else to eat it.
eating
Roughage
Posted: December 16, 2013 at 3:23 PM in Family & Relatives Friends & Neighbors Humor & Whimsy Personal Growth
I used to eat popcorn for every meal, she told me once. It made me feel like I was in the movies & my life would turn out happy in the end. Did it work? I said. I don’t know, she said, but I like to think the roughage counts for something.
Relaxed Fit
Posted: December 16, 2013 at 3:23 PM in Sports & Fitness
This is a loose-fitting body, so it’s still comfortable after a long carbohydrate binge.
Real Reason
Posted: December 16, 2013 at 3:23 PM in Aging (& Retirement) Condolence & Loss Family & Relatives Friends & Neighbors Inspirational Mother's Day New Year's Other Holidays Peace & Justice Personal Growth Retirement Top Ten Wedding Winter Holidays
There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other’s cooking & say it was good.
Monster in a Box
Posted: December 16, 2013 at 3:20 PM in Humor & Whimsy
This is a monster in a box & all it eats is sugar & raw hamburger so you can understand how it got to be so fierce.
Laughter & Digestion
There are only 2 things I take seriously, my aunt said once. Laughter & my digestion. I’m too old to bother with more than that.
Hors d’oeuvres
Posted: December 16, 2013 at 3:19 PM in Friends & Neighbors
I think my best self lives in my stomach, she said, & only comes out around the hors d’oeuvres at parties. I think you can tell a lot about people from the hors d’oeuvres. I nodded & hid my Vienna sausage in a big plant in the hall & avoided her for the rest of …
Half Alive
You can have a plain hot dog if you want, he said, but until you’ve had a real polish sausage you’re only half alive. I decided there were worse things & I was only ten & could correct the serious mistakes later & the plain dog tasted just fine, even being half alive & all.
Free Food
Do you know all these people? she whispered to me & I said no, they’re just here for the free food & she said, But it’s only a dream & I said, I know. That’s why I can afford to do it.
Force Feeding
Posted: December 16, 2013 at 3:19 PM in Aging (& Retirement) Humor & Whimsy
I know I can cook well enough to survive, he said, but I’m grown up now so you can’t force me to eat it